If you feel that you lack confidence and that this has been holding you back from reaching your goals then we have a number of tips and strategies which can help you to be more confident. As confidence coaches we work with our clients to help them overcome negative ways of thinking so that they can be the very best they can be. We know that these unhelpful thought patterns are usually the product of criticism from others and with a little help they can be left in the past where they belong so that you can move forward.
Who Robbed You of Your Confidence?
No matter how shy you are, how little self-esteem you feel you have or how much you lack confidence this wasn’t always the case. At some point in your life you had all the confidence you ever needed but something happened along the way which stopped you in your tracks and made you doubt yourself. As the self doubt grew you probably stopped doing things which previously you would have found simple and so the problem began. Then you may have found that your mind began to worry anytime you felt that you were being pushed out of your comfort zone or you came close to a situation similar to the original incident that created the problem. This is when many people who lack confidence put in place avoidance tactics to help them escape situations which are uncomfortable. The more these situations are avoided the scarier they seem and the anxiety grows until you are in a vicious circle you can’t break out of.
The question we like to ask our clients in our coaching and during hypnosis is who broke your confidence and stopped you from doing exactly what you wanted? Here are some of the culprits that could have created your problem.
Parents – If your parents were self critical, enforced high standards and compared you to others then it is possible that their words and actions created self doubt within you.
Teachers – Being shouted at by your teachers or being called embarrassed in front of the class if often enough to stop pupils from having confidence. Admit it nobody wants to be shamed in front of others so it is hardly shocking that pupils who experience this start to hide at the back of the class and avoid being the centre of attention.
Bullying – Other children may have picked on you for the slightest possible reason. As a child you can take that to heart and believe that there is something wrong with you when the bully is at fault.
Your Boss – If you have a boss who belittles, undermines you and puts you under stress it can sap your confidence quickly. No matter how many laws there are about bullying in the workplace it can be difficult to stand up to certain managers especially if the culture in your company allows it to happen.
Relationships – Get into the wrong relationship and your confidence can take a huge knock. Usually the dominant partner begins with small criticisms to make you doubt yourself and as your confidence is sapped the verbal or physical abuse gets worse.
No matter where your problem started from it is possible to be more confident and overcome self doubt.
How to Increase Self Confidence
As part of our work with our clients we use coaching and hypnosis techniques to help our clients make positive change and be more confident. Here are just some of the areas which can used to make you believe in yourself again.
Silence the Inner Critic – When you lack confidence you have a little voice in your head warning you not to do things. It tells you that you are not good enough, that you aren’t intelligent enough or that if you put yourself forward you will get knocked back. We believe we can help you to silence the voice of your inner bully so that you take back control and ignore what it says. As you start to make things happen and they go well the inner critic will get quieter and quieter until eventually it disappears.
Find your Strengths – Focus on your strengths rather than always bringing your attention to your weaknesses. We can’t all be good at everything but we all have the ability to build on what we are good at. This creates a great foundation to your confidence. Once you believe in your abilities in a certain area it becomes easier to try new things.
Small Goals – There is no point rushing in and trying to do something huge or drastic to break the lack of confidence as if it goes wrong you will be knocked back. The best ways to move forward is to set yourself small goals and allow your confidence to slowly build over a period of weeks and months. Once your start the ball rolling and move forward it is almost impossible to go back to how you were feeling before.
Push Your Boundaries – Everyone including people who lack confidence have a comfort zone which they don’t like stepping out of. Learning to push yourself gently outside of this zone can help you to overcome your fears. Just take one small step further each day and before you know it you will be miles away from where you first started.
Visualise Success – Olympic athletes use visualisation techniques and coaching to help run faster, pedal harder or jump higher. Rehearsing something over and over again in your mind can help you to think about different ways of approaching a situation and dealing with any unexpected problems that come your way. Do this often enough and your subconscious becomes tricked into thinking differently.
Arranging Your Confidence Coaching sessions
If you want help to be more confident and move outside of your comfort zone you can call us today on 01636 650 521 to book your program. We work with everything from public speaking to long term confidence issues. Just call for a free confidential discussion and we will be happy to talk about your circumstances and answer any questions you may have about coaching.